What a sweet, sweet boy! He has no idea what is about to happen. He is so happy, so mischevious, so passionate, and so oblivious to what's about to hit him. He has a smile that can light up a room, a laugh that is infectious, and a heart as big as 'Dallas'.
If you haven't hugged your kids this morning, be sure to do that ASAP because tomorrow isn't a guarantee. It is hard to believe that just two years ago we found out that Carsyn had congenital heart disease. A mere two years ago since Dr. Laird (who we've grown to adore) sucked the life out of us when he said that Carsyn would need open heart surgery. It's been almost two years (will be two years June 8) since Carsyn had his FIRST (which we thought would be his ONLY) open heart surgery. And here we are preparing to go back under the knife. It is SO much different this time. Last time happened so quickly that we didn't have time to worry with every detail. Carsyn is older now, not only will his recovery time be longer, but we will have MUCH more explaining to do. I'm not sure I'm up for that.
During his last surgery Weston was only four months old. I was emotional and *pumping* every two hours so that he would have something to eat. At the time I felt awkward doing that, but at least if filled the hours. Now, Weston is a toddler...a wild man. There is no way he is going to make it at the hospital for a six to ten hour surgery. So I will be left with NOTHING to occupy my time!
They say ignorance is bliss, and I couldn't agree more. I knew it would be painful and worrisome last time, but I knew I would manage. Little did I know how hard it would be to watch my baby hurt. Knowing that; it is physically and emotionally HARD to let them do that to him again. It is an excruciating feeling knowing it has to be done, but not wanting to do it for so many reasons. I know what to expect now, and I think that is the hardest part!
Thursday is the big day, so say a little prayer for my brave boy!
